Reply to Neighbor assumes I’ll watch her kid

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My neighbor works very part-time, just 2 hours twice a week, and just texted (yes texted) asking if I would be fine with her bringing her DD over at 9am when she heads in to work, and she mentioned reciprocating. I have a baby at home who naps then, and it’s the time of day we are all quiet, and some days, my older child is still sleeping. I explained this, and she’s now negotiating (“What time would work?”)

In all honesty, while I really don’t like her approach, texting vs face-to-face, the idea of occasional reciprocation sounds nice. But at the same time, I hate to commit to giving up two late-mornings/early-afternoons a week, all summer. I realize she needs to set up something concrete, but I don’t think that can be me. I wouldn’t mind helping if it worked a particular week, but I can’t commit definitively.

I want to be as civil as possible when I respond, because I have to live next to her! How would you best explain that 9am will never work, that I can’t commit, but I wouldn’t be opposed to taking it week by week? [/quote]

If you're actually open to reciprocation, then I would propose it up front.

"I know you're interested in trading childcare.  My husband and I would love a weekly date night.  If you're able to do that on Fridays or Saturdays, I'd be happy to have Lola here from 10 - 1 two days a week."

but I wouldn't do this on the basis of some kind of promise of reciprocation. [/quote]

I would do this if and only if there was concrete reciprocation as the PP stated.  On Friday/Saturday night, or half a day on every Friday afternoon or whatever.  Also, would her kid be the type to be incorporated into your quiet time easily?  For my oldest it would have never been an issue to come and sit quietly in your home, but my youngest would have been dicey at some stages of his baby/toddlerhood.

I will say that we now have a relationship with a family with two similar age kids.  They took care of my kids when my DH was on his deathbed (for real), no questions asked.  We kept their kids for a week when they (and their parents) were out of town.  We now just call each other if we have an event, or need to go out of town for a few days.  It's really nice to be able to depend on someone for things like this.  The key is that it is reciprocated and there is never the feeling that you are being taken advantage of. (and the kids get alont really well).  If she is making vague promises and won't commit, I wouldn't do it.[/quote]

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