Reply to Maternal Instinct Isn’t Real, But the Myth Makes Parenting Harder

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I actually think the maternal instinct is real. I used to have a visceral reaction when my children cried as babies. I wanted to be able to leave them to be handled by someone else sometimes so I could get sleep, but something in me reacted viscerally to their cries.

That doesn’t mean others, especially the father, should not do the fair share of the work. [/quote]

+1. To me the maternal instinct is the need to protect the baby. It doesn’t mean the mother would “instinctively” know how to swaddle or breastfeed, but she would want to learn / do these things as part of her maternal instinct to protect (providing food and comfort is part of protecting).[/quote]

As a new mom, I read "maternal instinct" as "I should automatically know what my baby's cries mean." I also actually read parenting books that told me I was harming my child because I definitely actually had no idea what her cries meant unless I first went through a careful mental checklist and even then it was sometimes still confusing. So yeah, that read on "maternal instinct" was definitely stressful and painful. It was incredibly helpful to hear my own very nurturing mother tell me she used to have no idea too.[/quote]

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