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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] I'm finding it difficult to challenge the uneven distribution of household labor. [/quote]

You have to fight for it, basically. You have to be direct, both in discussions about the theoretical and practical aspects. Have you talked with him about what your ideals as a couple are? Do you both believe you should be splitting housework evenly? And if so, are you also directly addressing in the practical aspects?

It sucks, but men and women are just socialized to do chores differently, and it is very easy for the most well intentioned men to lapse into letting someone else do the work for them. And vice versa -- women are socialized into taking care of people and it's hard to speak up and say "hey, you agreed that you would be responsible for changing the sheets, it's been three weeks already."[/quote]

Yup.  20 years of marriage, teenage children, and boy did we fight in those early years of childhood.  My husband was really clear that he did not want to be the sole breadwinner which was fine with me, but what wasn't fine was me doing all the at home work too.  Those were unpleasant times.  Basically, I learned that my husband would willingly and cheerfully do anything with or for the kids.  Once I figured this out, I outsourced a zillion kid related chores to him - shoes, hair cuts, sports practices, etc.  For years, he went to the gym every Sat and Sunday morning with kids.  They played at the gym childcare, he worked out and then fed them lunch.  I slept.  Once school started, he took over the entire morning routine.  Cooked hot breakfast daily, drove carpool, and dealt with all the things the kids forgot (reading log signatures, permission forms, etc.).  It gets easier as they get older.[/quote]

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