Reply to So my teen is back from a week away, and I was not looking forward to her being back

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Thank you for the support!

Re the armchair dx of ADHD, we actually have run her through testing for a variety of things and get the results tomorrow.

But regardless of that idea, I agree with the PP who said that it's hard even for an NT teen to get back from camp and turn it around to go to a party.  It's not set up for success.

I spoke with my DH about my secret lack-of-enthusiasm-for-her-return, and he said I've still got PTSD from (a stressful time we had with DD a few months ago).  And DD has always, always been hard to parent.

I think the one PP who thinks I'm hyper-critical/disappointed is off point, but I get it on how they could think this way as my OP isn't too detailed.  But sometimes I wonder, do PPs with these comments actually have a teen?  There's a funny saying, "I was a fantastic parent, until I had kids of my own."  I think that applies to parents of younger kids who are giving advice to parents of teenagers!  I have been guilty of that myself.  Anyways, maybe that PP just has a wonderful, compliant teen.  I've got one of each, and the range of easy-to-difficult is NOT a result of my parenting or too-high-standards.

I will miss her when she is gone to college, and I'll love going to see her.  But no, I won't miss her terribly.  I'm really "over" this part of my life and am looking forward to the next stage.[/quote]

OP - I'm the PP who suggested you reflect, and about whom you wondered if I had a teen.  I thank you for your openness on how I got there from rereading.  But you should know I do have a teen and he and I did have some rough years (your comment that I have a wonderful compliant teen would be laughable if you met us).  When I recommended reflection about disappointment, I was speaking from experience. Maybe I'm still off-base, but since you had a rough time recently and seem to have PTSD, I throw out there that she might, as well.  No teen truly wants to be difficult and sometimes it is on us to reflect how we got where we got and we are perceived, rather than just our intent.

And yeah, it is perfectly OK to be less than happy the kid is back. BTDT.  Normal, and expected.  Good luck to you.[/quote]

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