Reply to Not Going to Close Relatives Funeral

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[quote=Anonymous]I feel the same way you do about funerals, OP. I get that for a lot of people this seems to be a necessary step in the grieving process, but I find them pointless, creepy and not the way I want to mourn or remember a loved one.

Still, I went to my grandmother's funeral recently, despite the expense and huge inconvenience (we were overseas at the time) and my views on funerals, because my grandfather, my mother and the rest of the family members do not share my outlook and it was important for them for family to come as a sign of love and caring for the deceased and support for their grief.

If you think about it this way, that might help you get through it - it's doing something nice for the living, who you presumably love and care about. Trust me, this is not the time to explain to your remaining family members about how you feel, unless you want an epic family grudge that will last for decades.

Also, I was able to avoid the viewing by saying (genuinely) that I wanted to remember her alive and not dead. If you actually come to the funeral but do something like this, I am pretty sure the family would be understanding and it might minimize your discomfort.[/quote]

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