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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.... I should add, things are just short of personally violent at his moms. Broken doors, window glass, screaming, cursing, etc. my husband feels that it would be different here.[/quote]

Wait?!

Is the 20 year old breaking stuff at his mom’s house??!!? If so that’s a bad situation for her and will become hell on earth for you. A drug addict who is borderline violent with his own mother will have no problem pushing his stepmom around. How d is your child? Inviting his brother to live with you could easily turn violent for him too. Personally this would be my hill to die on. No way.

Figure out another living situation - you’re going to have to pay up to find him an apartment or halfway house or something. But those are the two options: he terrorizes you and your child in your house OR you pay for him to live somewhere else. Either way it will cost you because there’s no way his dad will let his so become homeless no matter how much of a screwup he is. The other option is divorce. Sometimes all the choices suck. [/quote]

I have suggested a halfway house - no...
Too many bad influences. I have suggested renting him an efficiently.....
No, he will be worse off our of sight.

If I push things and my husband moves out, I could lose custody of my daughter. The situation sucks.

My husband honestly believes he won’t be violent here. (He and ex don’t get along)[/quote]

If your husband leaves and moves in with a violent drug addict, I doubt most judges will give him physical custody of a young girl. Is your husband threatening you with this? [/quote]

More or less. He’s willing to not let him move in or he sees that the incentive is giving us “progress” but he has made it clear if he decides it isn’t helping, he won’t keep him out just to protect our child. Yes, he said he’d leave first if he thinks his son needs a stable living situation that only he can provide.

He doesn’t see a violent drug addict. The violence is all provoked by the ex-wife not handling things well, in his mind. Our kid is perfectly safe.
And, I just don’t get it as he’s not really my son.[/quote]

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