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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are no girl things.

My "tomboy" (not a word we used) daughter was not "a girl who liked boy things." She was a girl. She liked things. A girl who climbs trees isn't doing a boy thing. A boy who plays dressup isn't doing a girl thing. Your son may like pretty things, or sparkly things, or all sorts of other adjectives, but I'd eliminate "girl things" from your lexicon. He's a boy. If he likes it, it's a boy thing.

This is important because kids are often shamed for liking things that aren't supposed to be for them. Whether that's still liking something when it's for "babies" or liking something that's for "boys" if you're a girl, I think giving your kid the confidence to know if he likes it, then it's for him, is critically important.

What sorts of resources are you looking for? As the parent of a gender non-conforming kid, I mostly got good at helping my daughter with words to push back against anyone who suggested that collecting worms wasn't "appropriate" for a "young lady" and things like that.

We also did a lot of mail order clothes to prevent having the fact that she was choosing "boy clothes" shoved in her face (that worked until she was about 10, then she had a crisis and tried to wear girl clothes for a couple of years, then went back to boy clothes and found out that puberty made that hard, and has finally settled on an aesthetic that works for her and involves mens and womens clothes).[/quote]

DP. While this is helpful, it's not apples to apples. Girls can get away with wearing boy clothes or enjoying the outdoors, etc. Being labeled a tomboy doesnt have a potentially negative connotation---in fact, many moms seem to prefer and promote it (banning pink and princesses and barbies).

But it IS different for boys. My 6 year old also loves traditionally girly things: unicorns, stuffed animals, anything with sequins and glitter, etc. He hasn't asked to wear girl clothes, but he does opt for pink/salmon and purple boys clothing. He's asked for a manicure, but I wouldn't let any of my young kids get a manicure (infection risk, nail damage, too mature).

I don't have any suggestions, op, but I will follow this thread closely. Just wanted to weigh in to let you know I have a sense of what your situation is like, and I dont think it's nearly as easy as what the pp described with her daughter. [/quote]

I know it's not apples to apples. The pressure on children to conform to gender is different. Boys are pressured to be tough, girls are pressured to be sexual. And so on.

That doesn't change the fact that if OP's son likes something, it's his thing. It's not "for girls." It's for him. If he's wearing a princess gown, it's his princess gown, and it's a perfectly appropriate thing for a boy to be wearing. And she needs to help him understand that, precisely because of the pressure that he's likely to encounter. Don't waste time saying it's ok for boys to like girl things - that reinforces the false concept that there are girl things! He should understand that it's his nail polish, it's his doll, it's his sparkly bicycle, and they are all appropriate for him, and anyone who says otherwise is ignorant.

Many people may like for their younger girls to be tomboys. When your adolescent girl continues to be gender nonconforming, as mine has, it's different social pressure all together. Just as there are people who think it's cute when a little boy wants his nails painted or takes good care of a doll, but aren't as thrilled if that boy as a teenager wants to wear a dress to dinner.[/quote]

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