Reply to Your experience leaving someone with depression

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If the roles were reversed, people here would be saying what a horrible person the guy is for leaving the depressed woman, she deserves 1/2, blah, blah, blah.

The hypocrisy is amazing. [/quote]

You sound awfully bitter.

I'd say the same for a woman or a man -- if the partner is putting in good faith effort, or if the situation isn't so bad it is taking apart the other person, then marriage means you have a commitment to keep trying. You can choose not to, of course, but you should at least try.

But I've also flat out told male friends and family (not many, but a few) that I totally supported them in getting out of the relationship, ASAP. There comes a point where staying is only causing more ill in the world, and it's helping nobody.

That being said, there is a peculiarly male-flavored syndrome in our culture. Male depression often is outward-focused, not inward -- it looks like rage, and like blaming others and tearing them down, rather than turning the negative energy inward. That is going to burn out a partner faster than inward-focused depression, even though the latter can do it, too. It does mean that a male depressed partner often becomes more dangerous to the other partner, and more quickly, than the female, and so the advice to leave is likely going to come sooner and more frequently overall.  [/quote]

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