Reply to Interactions with medical staff can lead to Vulnerable Child Syndrome

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Trigger warning: this article contains a story of a difficult birth, and a baby in peril (but with a happy resolution): https://www.newyorker.com/science/elements/the-durable-feeling-that-a-child-is-always-at-risk
[i]
"We on the baby team try to hold the peril of these moments inside ourselves, because the way we communicate about risk and injury around birth can have lifelong consequences for parents and children. If we get this communication wrong, studies suggest, the family can be beset by what pediatricians call vulnerable-child syndrome: a durable feeling that this particular child is always at risk, and an irresistible urge to shelter the kid that can actually hamper his development and harm his relationship with his parents."[/i]

I was torn by this article- on the one hand, in my postpartum stay, I had a nurse terrorize me about my baby's weight loss (which was, actually, normal), and that led to months of anxiety about her weight, so I see where this doctor is coming from. On the other hand, she lost me at the end, when she described being less than honest and forthcoming about the danger the baby had been in. As a mother and, well, an adult, I want to know the truth.

[/quote]

The doctor wasn’t dishonest. She employed “thoughtful communication” and chose her words carefully so as not to frighten the parents unnecessarily. Cardiac arrest means the same thing as “heart stopped beating.”  One sounds scarier to the patient. [/quote]

"We may not ever say “cardiac arrest,” or “hypoxic-ischemic encephalopathy,” or even “resuscitation,” but we want this mother to know her son’s story. Are we dissembling? I do not think so. [b]If things had gone another way and we had to share bad news, we certainly would have been honest and forthcoming. But[/b] this baby, like so many babies before him and so many babies to come, was perfectly fine."

This implies to me that the doctor realized she was not lying, but also not being completely honest.[/quote]

7:58 here.  Refraining from going into might-have-beens, worst case scenarios, and what-ifs doesn't seem dishonest to me.  It's being wise.  [/quote]

In this particular case, [i]maybe[/i]. But only if there are no future medical implications resulting from this experience and the procedures employed. And if the parents change practices, or are in some other situation where they need to relay their child's medical history to emergency room staff, for example, I think a thorough understanding, including the 'scary' medical terminology, is necessary.

It seems rather condescending to think that parents just can't handle medical information. And it worried me that the article implicitly emphasized [i]mothers'[/i] anxiety throughout, as something to be avoided. It's a short, slippery slope from "thoughtful communication" to "don't worry your little head about it, dear." It also brings to mind the numerous studies that show that medical staff, including female doctors, take women's own medical concerns less seriously. When doctors feel that women cannot handle medical information for their children, it displays a medical culture in which women are thought of as less than rational, and capable of making decisions.[/quote]

PP here. I meant *incapable.[/quote]

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