Reply to If you had fewer kids than you wanted...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Perspective mostly. I had primary infertility. I'm lucky to have the one I have, I'm lucky she's healthy and on track developmentally. I'm also enjoying that as she gets older the constraints on where we can take her and what we can/can't do are disappearing and think about if I had another kid I'd be starting over in the baby phase with that kid. I remember the lack of sleep in my kids first year and how hard being pregnant was and how scary the emergency delivery was. I do get twinges of sadness when a friend announces a pregnancy, but it is fleeting and the thoughts don't run my life (if that is happening to you perhaps talking to someone about it might help?). Most of my friends are approaching their 40s though and the pregnancy announcements are much less frequent, and the joys of a more independent kid are increasing all the time.[/quote]

NP, but this describes my feelings exactly.  We also had primary infertility and went through 3 years of IUI/IVF/FET to conceive DD.  We've been trying for a second for the last 2.5 years with no luck (including one loss).  I've begun to make peace with having an only, for all of the reasons PP mentioned.  DH, on the other hand, is struggling with it and wants to keep pursuing treatment.  Frankly, it's contributing to problems within our marriage.[/quote]

this is me as well. Turned 40 last month, DD is now 2.5 and it took 3 years and 4 IVF cycles to have her. We were able to bank about 10 embryos after she was born (change in job ended up getting us free ivf) so we got complacent it would just happen. Well that job went away and none of our embryos took. We made a lot of parent friends with our move to the burbs 2 years ago and now they are all starting to have #2's. It's hard. I thought I was over it but I am upset when I hear so and so is pregnant. 
I do try and think about how hard the first 18 months are (or were for us) and if my marriage could withstand it and finances of course but as my DD gets older and I do the math of the age gap in my head I get sad.  Also because we both have extremely small families I worry about her being literally alone one day. 
So yeah, no help really just know you're not alone.[/quote]

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