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[quote=Anonymous]Our four girls are all grown up and in their 20s and 30s now.  They are all doing well to varying degrees, and we have a very good relationship with all four of them.  One really had her struggles getting through high school, and that was not easy. The other three were all pretty easy DCUM standards.

Looking back, the one thing that I wish I had done differently is put so much pressure on the kids, particularly the oldest, to achieve academically.  There is simply no point to it – you cannot motivate and  unmotivated kid, and with time and maturity the destined to become motivated will do it on their own their own.  I still believe that going to college matters, but which college you go to really does not. So much wasted energy in high school on college admissions for nothing!  Ten years out you will not know which kid went where, and which of your kids’ friends went where.

On the sports front, we were fortunate in that our kids were not athletically inclined, but our sons-in-law were and none of them have anything to do with the sport that so consumed them and their parents when they were growing up.  Take that for what it’s worth.

To sum things up, while it’s easier said than done, parents really need to learn not to sweat the small stuff. Or, often, even the medium size stuff. Things have a ways of working out with age and maturity.  And when they become adults kids will remember if parents were too hard on them, and that’s not a good thing.

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