Reply to ILs don't ask when they can visit - they tell us when they are going to visit (and other DH issues)

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Reply to "ILs don't ask when they can visit - they tell us when they are going to visit (and other DH issues)"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, my in-laws would invite themselves into town. I once missed a lot of a close friend’s wedding weekend celebrations because they were here. We would never celebrate DH’s birthday the way we wanted because they would be here. They came when my stepfather was dying and offered him unsolicited medical advice. DH didn’t love it, but he had a hard time saying no; these boundaries were new. I finally let myself cry out of frustration. I just let my raw emotions about the whole situation show. I told him that his choices affected more than him. When he wasn’t comfortable saying no, I absented myself from family events. He and his family could have dinner, but I would hold my boundary by keeping whatever plans I had already made. Then we stopped seeing them entirely if they made a visit into town without our consent. Our relationship with his parents is a little frosty, but I don’t particularly want to be chummy with people who want to force me into anything I don’t want to do. (I suspect my in-laws of personality disorders, so your mileage may vary with these strategies.)[/quote]

Wow, drama queen. All you ever had to do was speak up and stand up for yourself once. You missed friends weddings because YOU didn’t pack a bag and walk out of the house. Don’t blame anyone else for your choice to be a doormat.[/quote]

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