Reply to Tweens dropping one friend from the group

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[quote=Anonymous]Friendships ebb and flow but the school environment where you are together everyday with the same people makes it hard for that happen naturally. You can't really distance yourself and everyone knows what everyone else is doing.

I am fine with my kids changing their friend groups and have told them the same will happen to them. Goal is to help them realize this is part of becoming resilient and part of normal life. It is always good to do some self reflection and to be open to why the friendship might have changed but often it isn't because anyone did something wrong but rather people grew apart for any number of reasons. I also tell them that these are nuanced and difficult dynamics for even adults so you need to give some leeway as teens may not always say or do the best thing in their efforts to shift friendship dynamics. It takes some time and skill to figure out how to gracefully and respectfully change a friendship and even if you do it the best way possible, the other person may still feel hurt as their experience with the friendship was different from yours. The same will be true when a friend moves on from them - they may not get it at all and be very hurt but that doesn't mean the friend did anything wrong - although their communication style may not be well developed for these kinds of conversations and transitions. [/quote]

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