Reply to talk to friend about her infertility, or don't mention it?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would ask opened ended questions: how are you doing? I would not directly ask her about infertility. I also would not talk about my kids in front of her. [/quote]

PP can’t pretend she has no kids, it would be fake.

in any case, pregnancies are hardest to handle, followed by babies. as a rule the older the children the less upsetting they are.[/quote]

She should not pretend she has no kids,but it also isn't that hard to find other things to talk about. [/quote]

Disagree - babies were the hardest for me. I think something to keep in mind is that everyone is different. I appreciated when friends would find time without their kids or that didn't dominate conversations when we got together when I was struggling with infertility and losses. It is hard to navigate. But being present and available & even doing stuff like going to the movies were somethings I appreciated.[/quote]

I've had 4 close friends and a SIL go through varying degrees of infertility and losses. None of them have expected people to pretend they don't have kids. I tried to plan kidless activities (weekend breakfast, movies, dinner out, etc.). I listened when they wanted to talk about infertiflity, miscarriages, etc. and tried not to offer advice (because I really didn't have any!). I tried not to complain about my kids. I do think it was easier, because my kids were older, so there was no discussion of babies and baby things.[/quote]

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