Reply to How to explain to MIL why she doesn’t get to visit as much as my my mom does

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You will never fix this problem.
The key is to stop telling MIL about your mom being there. DH has to avoid this as well. This will possibly help.
Start inviting MIL on outing.  "MIL we are going to the zoo on Saturday and would love for you to join us!"  "MIL we are going to the park on Thursday morning why don't you meet us there?"
Basically invite her to things so she has the opportunity to be part of her grandchildren's lives.  If her weight prohibits this that is not on you.[/quote]

Why would anybody invite someone to an activity what will be a physical hardship for them.  That idea is so cruel.[/quote]

Because she is complaining that she doesn't get to spend more time with her grandkids. I have a mother like this. The only thing that ever got her to stop complaining was to inundate her with opportunities.  My coping mechanism was to include activities that she would have to turn down.  This way it wasn't me not offering but rather her saying no. We also invite her to things that she can and does take part of.  If you have nice normal parents it is hard to understand how stressful and draining it can be to have a parent or in-law that is manipulative and/or like to play the martyr.   In response to your comment that it is cruel to invite some to something they can't go to..no it is not cruel to invite them.  It is cruel to constantly complain and criticize your DIL. [/quote]

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