Reply to How to tell my mom to stop talking about my marriage and DH

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here, this is not about money at all. Yes, she provided free childcare labor for some time, but we started giving her money monthly so she can have her own money to use. We tried several daycare places before. It just didn't work out. My toddler could not adjust and I was told maybe I should wait until she's a little older to try again. That is why we had to ask for her help again. She has her own home in another state. My DD is 19 months now, so we will start her at a preschool at 2 years old, hopefully by that time her separation anxiety is a lot better. My mom is doing us a huge favor right now. So people telling me to kick her out is not the solution, when we are the one that need her help. I guess i'm seeking for advice on what I can do internally to ignore her comments and not let it get to me. I know that she's not going to change. My husband is not aware of any of this, so it's not affecting him.[/quote]

I guarantee your DH knows this.  And it's definitely affecting him because her comments are affecting you.   You may survive the next few months but your marriage will not.[/quote]

You need to do more than just ignore her comments.  You need to tell her that she needs to stop criticizing and badmouthing your husband and his family to you.  Because as long as you stay silent and don't stand up against her, you are tacitly condoning what she says--perhaps because you actually agree with much of it.  And you say that her comments are undermining your opinion of your husband, so it's damaging your already-fragile marriage.  He might not know what she is saying exactly, but it's affecting him whether he knows it or not.  You need to stand up to your mother.  Your mom might be doing you a huge favor in terms of childcare, but she's not doing your marriage any favors.  [/quote]

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