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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I see you're getting a lot of these "they have to grow up sometime" and "you can't tell others how to parent" posts. Very predictable on this forum.

Don't waste time wondering what the party parents are thinking. The "I'd rather they drink/smoke/ hook up under my own roof" parents are condoning things you don't like so it's high time for your son to be too busy to be hanging out with these friends. The one PP who said that the teen years were ones where friend groups changed is right. Is your son in activities that he likes and which keep him busy? Does he give schoolwork its full due? I find that teens who are genuinely busy don't have time for hanging out with the party house crowd--and often lose interest in doing so anyway. DC and DC's close friends are all very involved in activities they enjoy, are in classes at school that require a lot of time, and have family events etc. that all mean they don't have time for former friends who in high school started making hanging out their primary extracurricular.

And DC and friends do have social lives--they just don't do random last-minute weekend meet-ups or sleepovers, other than pretty rare sleepovers at homes where the parents know each other well anyway.

Don't let the "kids are gonna do what they want somehow anyway" people on here make you feel you have to "let this go." Of course you don't. Teens make crappy choices sometimes but that doesn't mean crappy choices must be a rite of passage aided by their parents.  Active kids who have interests and whose parents have rules turn out just fine too, and don't need the supposed "life lesson" of sleepovers at the party house to help them mature. 
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