Reply to For those who decided to stop at 2 children who were considering a 3rd and vice versa...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What was your reasoning for stopping at 2 and do you regret it?
If you had a 3rd, do think life would have been easier with 2? Obviously, you don't regret your 3rd kiddo :)
Just trying to figure out spacing if we decide to stop at 2 or go for 3. [/quote]

Dear Op,

You will have to figure this one out for yourself.    Not saying this meanly but, you have to figure out your finances and whether you have the emotional energy and time to raise three or four or whatever.  Each family is different although there are only four types of responses you will get:

Here they are:

Stopped at two:  regret it..thriving!
stopped at two:  don't regret it...thriving!

Went for three..regret it.
Went for three...thriving in our chaos!

Some will say go for it and others will say stop.  What does your spouse want?[/quote]

Yeah, I know its our choice in the end. But its nice hearing from others about there experiences and maybe reasoning we hadn't thought of before.  I know the dynamic is very different.[/quote]

In  the end we all make choices and then have to live with them.   To me, it doesn't make sense to poll anyone but, my spouse and me because we are the ones raising the kids.  Did you ask others when you went for your first or second?  Treat it the same.[/quote]

The OP asked for other's experiences, not for other's to decide if he/she should have another kid.  Sometimes humans just need to hear perspectives and stories from other humans who have had similar experiences and struggles. That is what makes this forum so cool. We figure out we are not alone :)[/quote]

[b]Yes, but, how will other people's experiences really help you with making your decision?[/b]  Did Op ask others for opinions on having the first or second?  Your experience is your experience.  How will it help me if you have a third and it works out but, I have a third and I get divorced?  I don't get it. I understand if you ask for experience living in NYC or working as a lawyer but, there is so many differences in personalities and families that I don't understand how asking strangers will help.

Will the op decide not to have a third because others said it was difficult?  I think it would be better to ask people who know you and your family, if anyone.[/quote]

OP is probably inclined in one direction and will selectively process responses to be more confident in her decision. this is why people ask questions on DCUM. not to be told what to do, but to get confirmation that what they intend to do is right. even when the responses are overwhelmingly against OP's intentions, OP will engage only a few supporters and keep going. [/quote]

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