Reply to When will my 17 year old junior stop trying to ruin his life?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Did he make a C in trig or is he addicted to opioids? Does he not smile and say good morning or does he pull a knife when you ask how his history test went?

I can’t tell what you mean by ruin you or what kind of bad decisions you’re talking about. [/quote]

In between.

Weed, vaping, sex, and the most recent/most egregious...attempting to steal something that he owns (that he doesn’t even care about or keep picked up).

His grades are As and Cs, no in between. I’m exhausted. He has two involved parents, but only makes good choices when he’s on punishment. I’ve become a full time juvenile detention officer. Two steps forward, three steps back every single month.[/quote]

NP here.  This sounds like my brother when he was 16-17.  I remember one night being awakened about 1AM by my parents.  We had to head to the police station in the middle of the night.  My brother had convinced his friends to go with him and they broke into the empty house up the street that was being sold so that they could party in the empty house.  The problem was that a patroling police car saw the flashlights and found the kids.  We were going to the police station to bail him out.  My brother was also not only smoking weed, but he was dealing weed to his friends.  I remember the night my father found his stash and flushed a large amount down the toilet.

This kid went on to go to Carnegie Mellon in engineering and got a very lucrative career as a corporate lighting design engineer.  He raised two wonderful children and sent them off to four year colleges.  One got a job at a firm in Manhatten in a dream job and the other is now in a PhD program.  He just celebrated his 60th birthday as a very successful man who spent 38 years working for the same big commercial lighting firm.  My parents who thought like OP that they could barely survive his HS years, spent the last 38 years (since he graduated college) being very proud as they watched the milestones go by.

Good luck.  I hope your son's path gets better like my brother's did.[/quote]

NP - That's great but it seems like so many guys were like that in the 80s (& 70s for your brother) and are all-good now. I remember my DH & friends partying like rock stars every weekend, drinking (lots), weed etc (I met him at 16).  They are all successful now (lawyers, business owners etc.) and we marvel at our teens who are the opposite - don't drink, smoke and some are head positions at school. It just seems so different, the world is a lot more serious now!  I would be alarmed if my teen boys were going out partying like that (yes I really know they aren't before anyone questions) and yet I know that's what our generation did.  However, it does show that OP's son is probably not ruining his life, but it will be a hard period to get through.
I remember DH's and his friend's parents weren't really involved that much, i.e. didn't tell us what to do. It seems weird now looking back, but that's just the way it was.
Good luck OP, sorry you are going through this.[/quote]

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