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[quote=Anonymous]My take from your posts:

*You need to ditch the guilt. He is feeding into this. You need to re-write the narrative that he *deserves* a sibling if that's what is feeding the guilt. By you dealing with your negative feelings, you will help him.

*You spend WAY too much time with him. 2.5 hours of uninterrupted time is a lot of time every weekday. And, all weekend!?

*You are not teaching him to be independent because you are not independent. You spend all of your time with him. You need to carve out time for yourself and let him know. "John, I will be reading for 1 hour because I really love this book. You are welcome to sit on the couch and read silently too." Or, "I need some downtime, so we will start the game in 1 hour." If you are not spending time on your interests and hobbies, how will know that's a "thing" that healthy people do.

*You are doing activities you don't enjoy, so you end up resentful and end up risking your relationship because you were untruthful. What happens when someone you're dating says, "but you love coffee, you always drank it with me." But, you only did that for the other person. Don't lie to your kids about who you are. I detest crafts. I told my kids that if they wanted to do them they were on their own. If they wanted time with me then we could play board games, which I enjoy.

*You haven't given him the skills for resilience and self-acceptance. If my kids came to me with a drawing asking for approval, I would turn it on them, "What do you think of your drawing?" It doesn't matter what I think, does it? Besides, when I tell my kid now, "That's incredible" they believe me because I don't let them use me to validate their work.

Finally, this doesn't have anything to do with him being an only. I know a family with 3 kids and they cannot be another level of a house without their parents (they are in upper elementary and middle school). It's about coddling your kids. Teach your son how to do his laundry, how to cook, how to figure something out. Kids don't inherently know this, so it has to be taught, but it will go a long way in making him resilient. This seems more imperative for an only because he won't have siblings to rely on. Just remember OP that he is modeling off you - be good to yourself and set boundaries. [/quote]

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