Reply to How do I/should I talk to my mom about money and sibling issues?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, as you have said, it’s her money and she can do as she likes with it. Your feelings of rejection or favoritism are related because you are judging her feelings for you using her money as a gauge. You have two issues here.

For the money, be as objective as you can. Ask her what her goals are wrt to how she wants to spend her money during her lifetime and leave it after her death. Write that down and get her to review. Bundle the necessary documents under this goal list and hand it over to a responsible financial advisor you help her choose. Then step back a bit. Perhaps she will realize after going through this exercise that she is not currently set up to achieve her goals. But they are her goals for her money, not yours.

On the emotional side, you could address how you think she feels about you and your kids and your brother and how that all makes you feel. But you have to separate this from the money. How you feel a out how much more support she gives your brother but bot that his house cost her $350k and he gets $50k/yr and how she has only given 5% of this value to your kids’ college funds, etc. You are using a pretty detailed ledger to value her feelings and yours. [/quote]

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