Toggle navigation
Toggle navigation
Home
DCUM Forums
Nanny Forums
Events
About DCUM
Advertising
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics
FAQs and Guidelines
Privacy Policy
Your current identity is: Anonymous
Login
Preview
Subject:
Forum Index
»
Family Relationships
Reply to "Tell me about your recent experience with in-laws moving into your home?"
Subject:
Emoticons
More smilies
Text Color:
Default
Dark Red
Red
Orange
Brown
Yellow
Green
Olive
Cyan
Blue
Dark Blue
Violet
White
Black
Font:
Very Small
Small
Normal
Big
Giant
Close Marks
[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]My husband is from a culture where parents live with their children. To him it is unthinkable that parents live in assisted living facilities. My lovely FIL, however, lives with my SIL and her family and I think he is depressed because he can't do anything during the day. Everyone is out of the house and he just sits and watches TV. He still has all of his mental faculties so this is really hard for him. He can't drive and is alone all day. It makes me really sad and I think he would enjoy living in a place with people his age. But I don't say anything because he is not my father. [/quote] I am the poster you responded to. In our case, my FIL's world only revolves now around what happens inside our house because his dementia is advancing. But your post touched my heart. You may have to intrude a little (nicely!) but if you think your FIL might appreciate a little more interaction then I have some suggestions. Where does he live? The city he lives in may have an elder care day program where he can go during the day for fun and activities. He could use Uber or Lyft to get there or some programs actually come pick up the elderly person. If they belong to a church, check out with the church if there are any activities for their elder members. If he is physically mobile, would he want to volunteer at a school or with an organization so that he had a purpose and a reason to get out of the house? What is nearby? Would he appreciate a gift card so that he could walk to the store or to the local coffee shop and interact with people that way. Has your FIL ever had an interest in art or music. Would he want an art teacher or a music teacher to come to the house for lessons? Finally, see if your inlaws would post online on Nextdoor.com to find other elder residents in their neighborhood. They might already have a social club or group, or might be willing to get together for book club or bridge or Bingo or cards or lunch or the like. Obviously your husband would need to be on board and then you would need to cultivate your inlaws, who are in the sandwich position. Speaking as a sandwich person myself, I can tell you that sometimes it can be difficult to see past the bread so they may appreciate a little interest and help. Good luck![/quote] Thank you so much for your suggestions. I will gently broach this subject with my husband at an appropriate time. It is a bit sensitive because I was born in the US and there is the stigma that Americans just throw elderly people in a home to not deal with them. But these are good alternatives for my FIL.[/quote]
Options
Disable HTML in this message
Disable BB Code in this message
Disable smilies in this message
Review message
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics