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[quote=Anonymous]My husband and I are from a culture where kids take care of their elderly parents. My ILs are still in their home country and likely refuse to move in with us until maybe one of them die and the one left become really incapable to take care of self. My husband is the only kid so it’s very likely that one of them will have to be our responsibility in the future. ( of course husband will likely have a hefty inheritance as well)

My mother lives with us right now. She is retired divorced. She is very independent but intended to explore a new life in the USA post retirement . ( another reason is likely because my little brother and sister who live with her back home still pretty much dependent on her and she is  tired of it. ).   My husband is onboard with this. She helps us with child care. She makes it clear that  she will not be interfere with how we raise our kid or how we manage things in our household. She will only help out what we request her to . She doesn’t help us financially at all.

I think both you and your husband need to sit down and talk. You both need be on the same page regarding how much space for the in laws, the responsibilities to the IL, clear line or boundary for IL vs your immediate family.

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