Reply to Has you child ever taken a medical leave of absence for mental health issues?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As the title suggests, someone close to me has a child leaving school for a medical leave of absence. The kid has struggled with anxiety that has manifested in cutting, anorexia, bulimia and some non-prescribed drug abuse.

It seemed like this person was doing well. The student’s father, who is close to me, is really struggling with this decision. I would love some advice on how to help him. Any advice on how to help the student would be great too, but I’m not family and not that close (I’ve only met the kid a few times) so I don’t think I really have a role to play there.

Have you had a child leave school for mental health reasons, and if so, how did it turn out? It seems to me like it’s a good sign that the kid knows to ask for help, and that taking a semester or two off to get help rather than gut it out is a good thing? Thanks in advance for any help you have.[/quote]

Yes, my DD took off this past fall semester due to her depression & anxiety getting worse.  She’s a college junior.  It was the toughest call I had to receive back in September that she was struggling & needed to take a break, but I knew the right thing to say and told her we’d pick her up (university is 5 hours away).  Emotionally, though, I was guilty about feeling torn, because I wanted her to be mentally healthy but I also wanted her to get her college degree.  I posted a thread on DCUM at the time—maybe in Special Needs, I can’t remember.

Anyway, we jumped into rescue mode.  For 4 months until the end of December, my DD saw her regular psychiatrist, visited a cognitive behavioral therapist weekly, changed her meds, and focused on nothing but her well-being.  I’d been tempted to ask her to get a job (you know, the whole “you need to be productive!” mindset, but the psychiatrist said to treat her as if she’s ill.  Just as a physically sick person would need to rest her body, in the same fashion my DD needed to rest her mind.

The university (a top 25 public...not to be overly specific) was helpful in preserving DD’s academic path.  They allowed a late withdrawal with all funds returned, though she was just past the no-cost withdrawal period.  It wasn’t a medical withdrawal, just a leave.  They kept her academic scholarship on ice, as long as she’d go back full-time within a year.  And they let us know that she could come back without needing to be readmitted as long as she didn’t miss 3 consecutive semesters.

It’s gone better than we hoped, although I always have anxiety about what’s to come.  After the 4-month healing break, during which her meds were tweaked to a more effective level, my daughter returned to a modified semester.  We paid for her to live in an apartment near campus, and we paid for a couple of part-time classes.  She also took on a volunteer role working with animals, which gives her joy.  She’s far better than she was, though I check in with her daily, per her therapist’s recommendation.

She’s still on schedule to be a senior by the fall, but I don’t think she’ll be able to go full-time.  That means she’ll lose her academic scholarship, and she won’t graduate in 4 years.  My DH and I have reassured her that it’s okay, but her perfectionism is such that it could exacerbate her depression.  We can only hope that we’re putting the right supports in place, and everyone has to go at her own pace.  We’ve also told her that it’s okay to come home if she needs to, even if it means not finishing her degree.  Nothing is more important than her health.  That’s something I used to say, but now I feel it in my bones.

Good luck to your friend.[/quote]

This is extremely helpful (as are all of the other replies). I'll pass along to my friend. Interestingly they talked about her getting a job to stay active (inactivity, I think, has added to the depression for this person) but it's really good to think of the down time as healing the body. Everything you said was helpful. Thank you so much - glad to hear your daughter is healing and that you're all doing better.[/quote]

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