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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. DH is an admin, but it’s a small school so he occasionally subs if no one else is available. He started at the school as a teacher (at $60K/yr) and became an admin after a few years there. This means his hourly pay rate is less than when he was a FT teacher. He thinks, wrongly IMHO, that it’s “an honor” to have his position, but he’s been in this admin role for a few years with no raises and more duties than ever. Saturday detention isn’t every week; staff at the school rotate the duty.

I think he loves his job. I don’t love my job one bit, and have a much longer commute than he does, which breeds more resentment on my part because I feel like I am the primary breadwinner and default parent so that he can have his “passion” job plus spend hours playing sports with kids that aren’t his.

I’ve bugged him a few times about trying to find a more flexible position, or a better paid one, but he’s not motivated to do so.

You’re right that this can be true for all couples. It seems, though, that education is a particularly inflexible and poorly paid field [b]that requires sacrifice on a family’s part.[/b] I guess the sacrifice is for some sort of greater good, but god I’m tired. And sad that he chooses his job over us. [/quote]

OP, stop conflating issues. You keep coming back to this problem being related to education. It’s really about your last paragraph. He’s putting his family second. You feel dismissed. You feel like second string. It doesn’t matter whether you love your job or have a 5 minute commute. He’s not available, and he’s continuing to disregard your requests. Again, it’s time for a serious sit down. [/quote]
I agree with OP. Your husband is an admin so the pressure is internal. It would be very reasonable to ask him to give up one day of activities and to put a time limit on responding to emails in the evenings. He should absolutely be using his PTO. If it's difficult for him to not go in he can take half days occasionally so that he can pick up the kids and be home for a relaxing evening. There should be some vacation time in the summer. 
 Every school has a few people like your husband who are tirelessly devoted to their "kiddos" often at the expense of their own personal life and families. I have found that these individuals are usually good teachers, but not the best, their lives lack balance. I don't see how it is worth it. It sounds like he is being taken advantage of. That is a low salary increase for a title change, especially with no salary increase.  Can you afford to step back or find a new job? My husband works very long hours, including a weekend day. I was a teacher who stepped down to an assistant to have more time and energy at home. [/quote]
*I mean that I agree with PP. Also, was your husband like this as a teacher as well?[/quote]

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