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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OK, I'm going to sound like a loon, but I have no idea what in the world just happened, and what I could have done to change this.

We are a house that doesn't do regular milk. Soy and almond milk only. [b]Been this way for 10+ years. Husband goes to Costco to get more, and comes back with regular milk.[/b] [b]I was confused and said, "did you decide you'd rather go with the regular milk?" sort of really confused,[/b] but whatever, it's MILK. Who ultimately cares. [b]Until he goes from zero to sixty on this one question - tells me over and over it's soy milk. Guys, it's regular milk. Pictures of cows. Narrative on what they feed their cows on the side. Nowhere anywhere does it say the word soy. Because it's not. So I just casually say, "hmm, I wonder if this was in the wrong section because this ain't soy milk."[/b]

He blows up at me. OK, clearly it's not about the soy milk, [b]but how in the hell do you interact with someone who, in the face of all evidence to the contrary, still stays the course and continues to point fingers at you as the person to blame?[/b] Because that's what's going on here. What's irritating is that he'll fight to the mats on this one, and i[b]f I then go out and buy actual soy milk, he'll yell at me, and so now I'm stuck.[/b] Like I said, it's milk, so what, I'll live.

But WTH?? This is the dumbest argument.... Do I just do/say nothing and let him figure it out when the damn milk ultimately spoils because he got three huge containers of it, and he'll be the only one drinking it? Or is this something to address? [b]Like, dude, don't speak to me that way when you're OBJECTIVELY WRONG?? I have no idea how to "argue" with something that claims the sky is green.[/b] I'm more looking for tips from BTDT folks because [b]what I've been doing the past 12 years obviously isn't working.[/b] [/quote]

This is an abuse tactic called gaslighting. He's gaslighting you. This is not ok, to put it lightly. You have been enduring this for a very long time and I highly recommend therapy (individual and couples therapy, but I have serious doubts about his ability to see what he is doing as wrong). I'm so sorry.

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