Reply to Apparently, you just get to stop parenting the third kid...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wonder what the other side of the story is - is the other kid completely innocent or not?

My DD has two older brothers and she can hold her own. I joke that I pity the 3-4 y/o who tries to cross her. I’m not proud of her ever resorting to violence and tell her not to do it but I did get one incident report last year. Apparently a boy was bothering her (pushing her / taking her stuff) and she finished it. The preschool teachers were basically like - we have to report this to you but we are not worried about it- she was really provoked. It hasn’t happened again and I told her not to do it again and we are all friends with the other kid etc. [/quote]

You only have to "learn how to hold your own" in a home where there is physical aggression.  If you are referring to a lively debate amongst siblings around the dinner table, that's an okay type of "holding your own."  But if a younger sibling is fighting with her peers because she fights with her older siblings, you do, in fact, have a situation that you need to deal with.  Your jokes about how aggressive your 3-4 year old is really funny, I'm sure the other parents love it when your kid hits their kid! [/quote]

Sure, here is an example.  One of my prouder parenting moments was at the pool last summer. My middle guy is 6. One of his friends had one of those liquidator water guns, and was threatening to squirt then 3 y/o DD with it (who was out of the water). Another 6 y/o boy was egging him on, saying - squirt her, squirt her! DD was very vocal saying: NO, don’t squirt me!  Don’t squirt me!  I was there, but I didn’t immediately jump in because I wanted to give the boys a chance to hear her saying NO and respond appropriately.  Anyway just as the water starting coming out of the liquidator and I was walking over, my middle guy pushed the top down so it would hit the ground and not DD.

If that’s not a typical interaction where you live I guess there’s a lot of hovering parents.  Which is fine for me I guess - then maybe those other kids wouldn’t be bothering DD.  But I’m not going to have a cow about it, like apparently you would. [/quote]

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