Reply to When to give wedding gift to child and new spouse?

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Reply to "When to give wedding gift to child and new spouse?"

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[quote=Anonymous]If you are contributing to a wedding - do it much before the wedding during the planning phase.  Same goes for contributing for a honeymoon, major appliance, car, home down payment, grandkids education -  you give during the planning phase and you give to both the adult offspring and their spouse/intended spouse.

If you want to give only to your own child, you can do that too. But, that gift or inheritance is not given in the context of a wedding or anything else that would be a joint expense or investment for the adult offspring and their spouse.  That is not done.

If you give a gift, you have no control of how it will be spent or if the spouse has a say in it.  That is why it is important for gifts for a specific purpose to 1) set limits and 2) pay the bill.  For example - you may wish to pay for the tuition of your grandkid in a particular school.  You can directly pay the tuition,  as well as make it clear that you will pay up to x amount and you may choose or not choose to pay for incidentals like field trips or gym uniforms.

Similarly for weddings - you could pay the bill for flowers - up to x amount of money etc.

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