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[quote=Anonymous]The MIL sounds utterly horrid, and I guess I find myself wondering why the OP's DH still speaks to his mom.

As the daughter of a DEEPLY dysfunctional and mentally ill/abusive woman who's pretty wretched to me (and to DH, when she sees him, which has now been 5 years since we moved across country), I can understand how hard it is to basically 'disown' a hugely narcissistic parent, and I don't believe people should have to choose between their parent and a spouse -- but I guess there's a part of me that DOES think you have to choose between your own children and a parent like this MIL.  And the children should be the choice, hands down.

PS If it came down to the MIL giving an ultimatum (your wife or me, your mother), in this instance it sounds like the spouse should be the 'winner' (in part because no mother has a basis for making a demand like this)...but again, where I'm totally WTF'ing here is about the children ... why keep this woman in the picture?  And yes, I know it's harsh....[/quote]

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