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Tweens and Teens
Reply to "Snowplow Parenting"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a snowplow parent and don’t apologize for it or feel bad. Social media allowing me to connect back with people I knew growing up has taught me that who you are as a teen is who you are as an adult and the ones who change are exceptions not the rule. [b]The kids who were smart, involved, organized, out going and put together as teens are the adults who are still that way and have great careers and have done very well[/b]. You can tell by their career choice, place they live, activities they do now, etc. this is the kind of thing you glean not from their over happy posts but the background in the posts and their LinkedIn profiles and in some cases published work, and so on The kids like me who were in the middle - did ok, got by went to college, got a normal job and so on - stayed the same in adulthood. We may have talked a good game back in the day about having ambition but we weren’t going to do anything to hard to achieve them. I can also see now but couldn’t see when I was a teen that social skills build on themselves and kids who miss out on developing them at each stage life do end up a bit farther behind the curve each year and catching up becomes very difficult. I know there are going to be plenty of posts telling me how wrong I am but remember exceptions are what people advertise and talk about. No one brags about the literal millions who do not become exceptions.[/quote] I am one of those people who was high achieving in high school, and have gone on to have a happy and successful adulthood. My parents did what they could to support my goals, but the goals were always mine, not theirs. I did the work, I made the plans. I got where I am today because of internal motivation. My siblings had the same parents. One turned out like your example of kids in the middle. The other has made a mess of her life. You admit yourself that you were not willing to work hard to achieve your ambitious goals. You know who else doesn't work hard? Kids who don't ever learn to do the hard work, because their parents push all obstacles out of their way. Being truly successful requires internal motivation. You can't force that on your kids.[/quote]
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