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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH have been going to a marriage counselor.  One thing we are working on is division of chores. We keep having the same stumbling block. I’m supposed to clean up dinner. DH is supposed to give DS a bath.  His task is easy.  DS is 4 and takes a shower. You literally have to stay within earshot with your phone, occasionally fetch a toy for DS, and wait for him to finish and dry him off.

While this is occurring, I run around and do dinner clean up, reset DS’s backpack, maybe flip a laundry load, pack lunch, and basically reset the house and get us set up for a nice day. I can’t do all this while supervising the shower. And I profoundly dislike doing it before DS gets into the shower because it takes me three times longer bc DS is in my hair while I’m clearing up.

The shower is also the beginning of our bedtime routine. It sets us up so that I can apply DS’s lotions (eczema issues) and pajamas and story time. It keeps him on schedule.

Despite the simple nature of the task, DH has never done it consistently.  Today he fell asleep on the couch. Sometimes he waits sooo long and it’s obvious DS is overtired and needs to get his bedtime routine started. And when this happens, DS gets really really whiny and is all over me and I end up doing it. Sometimes he says his back hurts or he is not feeling well.

I started dealing with it by simply not cleaning up. Not to be a jerk. Just because I felt less resentful - like at least I wasn’t doing EVERYTHING.  But then DH complained to the therapist and the therapist said I shouldn’t do that- I should tell him in a kind but assertive way that he needs to do his task. However how can I do that - wake him up and tell DH to put the kid in the shower? [b]Say “sorry you are sick, please do your task?” [/b]

We have spent literally 3 sessions with the counselor on this.  I don’t know why he cannot do this. It makes such a big difference to the functioning of our house when he does this small thing.  Any advice? [/quote][/quote]

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