Reply to Resent DH that I can't be a SAHM

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Work part time and don't tell him. Supplement the money you need for bills with your $4M. Reassess at 9 months.

You don't have to do what you husband tells you to do. [/quote]

Sure.  And he doesn't have to do do what she wants - support her while she stays at home.

Look, the default in this country is that adults work, in order to pay the bills.  You may not like it, but that's the way it is.  I agree with a PP that in a relationship, if one person wants to stop working, it needs two yes votes.  Without consensus, the default - everyone works - continues.  [/quote]

I understand it takes 2 people to support being a sahm.   After awhile, how much more money is enough?  It doesn't seem enough for my husband but it's enough for me. I would rather stay home and spend time with my young children as well as working on my mental health.  Divorce is the last resort but a marriage of resentment and unhappiiness isn't a much of a better life.     [/quote]

I am the "two nannies" poster, and I wasn't entirely kidding.

First things first - are you able to take any leave from your job? Annual leave, sick leave, even unpaid leave? If so, take it. That doesn't mean stop working, but you sound like you really, really need some time. Your husband may disagree, but if you have the time I think you should take it. Find a therapist for couples counseling.

Second, if you don't already have a nanny, hire a nanny.  Hire a housecleaner. Make like life easier so that when you are home from work you can hang out with your kids.

Third, stick to your guns on no new house - at least for the time being.  Building a new house that's going to stretch your finances when you are already at your breaking point is a bad idea. Your husband can be mad about it, but that's the truth.

TBH, if I were you I would not stop working. Your husband sounds a bit unrealistic and doesn't seem supportive based on your posts.  You ought to make sure you are able to support yourself if you find yourself in that situation.

Good luck.

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