Reply to Feel like I can't compare to his ex

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[quote=Anonymous]	Your boyfriend has a late wife, op, not an ex. This makes me wonder if there is something wrong with you given that you know the proper term but choose not to use it, ostensibly since you think the correct term would "confuse" people. That's just odd, and is why I'm not on your side here, even though I'd like to be. Assumming that you aren't crazy, here is what I think.  I'd suggest you talk to a grief councelor, ideally someone trained to talk with people who have lost a spouse. If it were me, I'd find someone with religious training that is in line with my religious beliefs, and if your beliefs are different from your partner's, one trained in his beliefs too. That may help you gain some perspective. I'd also urge that your partner write and speak of you in only loving terms. How he treats you and speaks of you has a lot to do with how his friends treat you. He needs to be aware of this and conduct himself accordingly. Finally, you can decide that this relationship isn't right for you. There is nothing wrong with that decision, and there is nothing wrong with telling him that the outpouring of love for his late wife coupled with the lack of outpouring of love for you is not something you are prepared to deal with. I am also curious about what prompts these outpourings, I have a friend who lost his wife a few years back, and I wouldn't post on her timeline partly because I don't do things like that, and also because he is with another woman who also deserves love, respect and kindness. I think that you and your partner could both be more sensitive to each other . [/quote]

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