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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So people confuse this issue; the way you want to receive love is not necessarily the way you're most comfortable showing it. The point is to figure out what makes your partner feel loved and do that, not act in the way that *you* are most comfortable. The former is expressing love towards another, the latter is just self-love (or selfishness).

Yeah it's new-agey and a little cheesy but ask any therapist; this stuff works. There's a reason this board is full of wives who want their husband to load the dishwasher and men who want their wives to touch them (many (obvs not all) women list acts of service as their preferred language, while men list physical touch).

I have a friend who is dying to hear her husband say thank you, for literally anything. He thinks grabbing her boobs is expressing love. Sigh. [/quote]

Yeah, that was me. DH refused to say thank you or acknowledge things I did. And I realized after a while I was fishing for that, so I could feel appreciated, by listing all the stuff I'd done that day. Nobody would bite (of course not the boys, but, you know, kids). DH repeatedly said he shouldn't have to thank me for things that just needed doing. We had multiple discussions around this. He has come around, though, and makes a point of thanking me now. I'm a little jaded, because  know he does it under duress. But at the same time, I have to remind myself to hug him and give him that physical affection he wants. I realize it is a double standard and I should appreciate that he's trying.[/quote]

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