Reply to Another variation of "another kid?" but this is more about the spouse.

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[quote=Anonymous]In my case, I was the one who was happy with just having one child while DH really wanted a second. Our first DD was a really challenging baby and toddler, but has become the most amazing little girl (she is now 6). We didn't even start contemplating #2 until she was 3 years old.

Personally, I just didn't want to go back to the baby stage again if there was any chance it could be as difficult as it was the first time around. But DH felt like it was worth the risk to add another child to our family for many reasons. We probably discussed it for a year plus, and in the end DH's desire to have a 2nd was much stronger than my desire not to. I wasn't completely against it, I was more ambivalent, and I really do see plusses to having another in the long term, which is what swayed my decision eventually to go for it. I also did think about the fact that DH would probably resent me much more for not having a 2nd than I would resent him for having a second, if that makes sense.

I think an important distinction here is that I wasn't against it - I was fully on board, it just would not have been me pushing to make this happen as I was content with one. But if one parent is at all against it I would never recommend going forward. It will just not end well because it's going to be hard and we both need to accept that up front.

I am now 37 weeks pregnant with #2 so don't know how it will all turn out - but I am happy overall that we are having another. It will be a huge adjustment but again, long term I love the idea of having two children and think my 6yo will be an amazing big sister, and am truly happy I can give her this gift as well.[/quote]

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