Reply to Another variation of "another kid?" but this is more about the spouse.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A lot of men struggle with the baby/toddler stage then come around and are good/active dads when the kids are older.

It shouldn't be that way but it often is.

Perhaps that will happen to you.[/quote]

OP here.  I hope I am not presenting my DH as someone who isn't actively involved, because he really is.  He is so wonderful with our son - kills me to say it, but he's the preferred parent a lot of the time.  [b]He is just much more exhausted by parenting than I am.  [/b][/quote]

Can you break that down a little? For instance, does he struggle with sleep deprivation, or is he just generally more overwhelmed when life gets complicated?  If you can tease out if this is a baby/toddler phase thing or more a personality thing, that would likely help. It's worth talking about with him.

For me, who does not do well with sleep deprivation *and* felt overwhelmed by parenting, it helped a lot to space our kids out. Ours are almost four years apart. At 37, you don't realistically have that luxury, but it's worth discussing as well. "If having another kid means we have to do so soon, is it worth the trade-off to have another child at all?"

If he thinks that this is a baby phase thing for him, there's a decent argument for going for it while you can--but if it's more a personality thing, well, maybe not.

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Really good points and things to think about - thanks!
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