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[quote=Anonymous]The wiggling in her chair mom, who writhes and kicks as though she is in her daughter's body and playing the game right along with her.  Closely related to the pacer, who walks the sideline, leaning and kicking as though she's on the pitch and/or controlling her child like a voodoo doll.

The photographer.  Able to fill a 1 Tb data card per game.  Closely related to the iPhone videographer, with shaky video footage from every game since U6.

The statistician.  Soccer's Moneyball dude, in real life.  Want to know where this goalie dove on the last 17 PKs and the odds she'll go left?  He knows.

The "when I played" mom.  Everything circles back to how things were "back in the day."

The dad-ref.  He referees too, so he must call the game for all those on the sideline, correcting the real ref and explaining why he's wrong.

The linesman chatter-upper.  Got a joke or observation, might as well tell the linesman, since I'm sure he wants to have a conversation with random parents while he's working.

The wears shorts no matter the weather dude.  25 degrees, I'm in shorts and sandals.  Ignore my blue toes and the fact that I'm freezing my nutz off, cuz I'm in shorts, bro.

The club defender.  Defend your child's club at all costs.  It is perfect and cannot be criticized.  Suggest an improvement or acknowledge something wrong, hellz no, bizatch. We're the best.

The grass is greener guy.  Always talking about what another club is doing.  Maybe it is better over there.  Dude, take your kid there if you don't like it here.

The flirt.  Soccer mama's got it goin' on and ain't afraid to show it.

The extra trainer.  Lil Johnny practices 4 days a week and has 3 games on the weekend.  Wonder if we can squeeze in 2 more days of private training and one day of conditioning.

The guy who turns his hotel room into party central on road trips.  Weekend away, I'm turnin' my room into the bar, bro.

Gotsoccer rankings dude.  Chasin' points at U9 and lovin' it, baby.  We're ranked!

Panera mom.  If there is ever a question relating to food during a tournament, is there ever an answer that isn't Panera?

Futsal mom. We're not taking a break from soccer.  Ever.  If there's a tourney on the East coast, we're going.  $1500 for 3 games, we're in.  Closely related to 3v3 dad. Who's in for another trip to Disney?!

DA dad.  DA rules the roost. Everything not sanctioned by USSoccer is second tier. My kid is going to the national team and was seen by 73 colleges at her showcase.  Siamese twin to ECNL dad.  And almost all of us crazies here on DCUM.  :)[/quote]

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