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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sometimes I weirdly worry about the gene-pool from my DH's side of the family. They tend to drink a lot and are very dysfunctional with some diagnosed mental issues. Its all a hot toxic mess.

I worry procreating with him would mean risking my children inheriting genetic factors.

Is this a thing?
[/quote]

Of course. My BIL and MIL are both extremely socially awkward and would definitely be considered “in the spectrum” if born today. And alcoholism runs all throughout my family so of course I worry. Thankfully my two kids seem fine socially although one is a bit anxious. When they become teens will talk to them about how alcoholism is hereditary and they are predisposed.[/quote]

Please don't wait until your kids are teens to start talking--not just one big talk but ongoing talk over years--about alcohol. In elementary school kids are already becoming aware of alcohol and the idea of drunkenness. If you don't believe me, well, please do; you'll find that a lot of parents you know already let their "mature" older elementary kids watch TV comedies that refer to drinking and drunkenness at points and kids do absorb messages parents done even know they're getting.

My friend's father is British and was the son of an alcoholic. When friend's dad, who never drank because he hated what drinking did to his own dad, was in his 20s and married an American, they moved to the US partly because the dad felt that Britain has more of a "drink to get drunk" culture than the US does and he didn't want to raise kids there. (I'm married to an English guy, we spend a lot of time there, and I agree about how acceptable drinking is there compared to here, generally.) He talked to his kids early about how alcoholism has a genetic component and they need to be aware of that if they make a choice to drink.  My friend and his brother say it wasn't heavy-handed, but it was a consistent message, and he was clear they could choose to drink when old enough, it was just something they knew they had to think about before they chose to drink. Neither drinks alcohol at all. [/quote]

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