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[quote=Anonymous]I'm in a similar situation - 1 and 3 year old, deployed husband, slightly fewer hours but still averages out to about 10 hours a day. We struggled for the first few months (we're on month 4 of 9) but it's getting better. My kids are in daycare, but what's made a huge difference is getting an after-daycare nanny. She plans weekday meals, picks the kids up from school, does snack and a little playtime at home, cooks dinner, feeds them, tidies up the kids' areas and the kitchen (this is huge!), and is flexible on other time commitments. If I need to stay late at work, she's able to stay later and handle bedtime. If I have to go in on Saturday, she can come and watch them. If I need a night out (I think I'm going to go to a movie with some friends tonight after the kids' bedtime), she can watch them. Finding her was a challenge (I used care.com but interviewed about 5 people before I found her) and we pay a lot ($15/hr in a market which generally has a much cheaper babysitting cost than DC). I also told her I'd commit to at least 15 hours/week. I think this won't be that hard to hit most of the time, but if worst comes to worst, I'll have her take one of the kids for a few hours on the weekend and I can have some one-on-one time with the other kid. It sounds like your nanny isn't cutting it, so I would strongly recommend renegotiating with her (for her to do more around the house) and/or hiring additional help. Having someone help with meal planning, cooking, and tidying up made a HUGE difference for me. It's also allowed me to be a much better mom when I am home because I'm not running around stressed trying to deal with those things.

I'm still doing grocery shopping based on nanny's list (it's not a bad "family activity" to do with the kids on the weekend). I've been doing the laundry on the weekends but the nanny knows that she may need to help with it if I can't get to it. We have a maid service that does a deeper clean (including changing sheets and folding any laundry that's in the dryer) every other week. We also have a landscaping service.

All of this is expensive, but it's temporary and 100% worth it to help us get through the deployment. Take advantage of the fact that you're lucky enough to have two incomes (I seriously don't know how single parents do it...) Good luck![/quote]

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