Reply to what do you do when the children know about the affair and are upset about a reconciliation?

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Reply to "what do you do when the children know about the affair and are upset about a reconciliation?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it’s not so much the reconciliation and forgiveness for cheating that people are shocked and angry about - it’s how dismissive you’re being about your daughters.

I would argue that their father’s betrayal against them is actually worse than his betrayal against you. Neither one of you seem to get to that - or be willing to acknowledge it, let alone do the work to fix it.[/quote]

OP.  Oh, possibly my original post, in trying to be brief, makes it seem I'm dismissing their hurt.  OMG, that's so far from the truth!  I could write paragraphs about how their pain is actually more important to me than my own.  I could go on and on about how at this point, I'm ambivalent about DH and actually his cheating is less painful to me than my DD's hurt that I can't fix.  But the bottom line is we feel an almost 20 year marriage is worth trying to save, he wants to save his relationship with our DDs and only God (and a few PPs) knows if it's all going to work out or not.  [/quote]

Of course he wants to save it now.. but he never cared when he choose to cheat.  How do you know he will not cheat again or he didn't cheat before this woman/getting caught?  [/quote]

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