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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP- I appreciate you asking the question.

I have a dyslexic child and an autistic child and the term disability can be really loaded within both of those diagnoses/ communities. So the language about everyone’s brain works differently is generally acceptable.  We also talk about how everyone needs different things to be successful- that fair isn’t equal.  So one child may be allowed to chew gum or listen to music because they need that.

We talk about this so much because even children who themselves have special needs need to be taught to be sensitive to differences in others.

In your situation I agree with your approach asking her how she would feel.  I would likely go further by asking her how she could be a friend to Larlo- perhaps by being an upstander and reminding her classmates it isn’t funny.

I would avoid any specific language around diagnoses or disabilities because you don’t know how Larlo’s family speaks of his needs.  I think it is best to stick to the language around brain differences and need differences and how we should all be kind to each other.  It sounds like you are part of a faith community, so you can also leverage the”we are  all God’s children” messages from your faith tradition.

And do please invite this child to any all class parties.  You can reach out to the mom to offer to let her stay and support or just make it known he is welcome.

My child was excluded from a class Valentine’s party this week because of his disability- so inclusion is a sensitive topic for many of us.[/quote]

We are probably at the same school.  I could see our school doing this to a child.[/quote]

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