Reply to Having older parents and young kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My MIL is 90+ and we are doing all of the care for her.  She is relatively healthy, but she can’t drive anymore and can’t manage her finances so we have to oversee her purchases and pay her bills.  We have teens and I wish that this was happening when we had toddlers or preschoolers.  My teenagers have homework, sports, test prep, etc so they aren’t free to go to MIL’s each weekend with us to handle the things she needs each week.  If they were toddlers, I would load them in the car to go visit and at least we would all be together.  As it stands, my kids will be leaving for college and I feel every hour that I miss.  [/quote]

Your teens are capable of staying back.  Toddlers aren’t. [/quote]

Agree with PP. It's hard no matter the stage, but having infants and toddlers while caring for an elderly parent is a special squeeze. They require so much of your attention that you have very little mental energy left for anything else. [/quote]

Yes -- no question, toddlers are harder than teenagers in this situation!  Do you remember what toddlers are like?  Of course you can't leave them on their own at all, they require eyes like a hawk on them, and they are incapable of understanding that "Mommy needs a few minutes to help Grandma with this right now", instead they are having meltdowns and pulling at you and screaming.  Add to this an elderly person, who are in some ways like toddlers themselves in their inflexibility on certain things and who can be anxious about things done just so for them, and it's crazy.  That's why it's called a sandwich, you're being squeezed from both sides.  [/quote]

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