Reply to Are your husbands that don't care about keeping in touch with their parents bad husbans?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Interesting thread. My husband is both a good son and a good husband (and father himself). It was important to me that he treated his parents well and seemed grateful for what they did for him and his siblings. His parents are certainly not perfect, but they are good people and parents and I don't have to nag him to call them. [/quote]

No one is asking for perfect.  Not abusive (blatantly, or on the sly passive aggressive) and not allowing abuse would be fine.  My family is not perfect, but they communicate and welcome people - don't just talk about it, actually do it and show warmth.  My family set a good example by consistently taking the high road, not just when they want something.  Don't have more kids than you can handle, and there should not be a problem.  Also, get mental help when you need it, own your sh*t, don't take it out on someone else (in the case I mention). [/quote]

PP here.  To add - thankfully, some husbands learn from their birth family dysfunction, and create a different atmosphere with their nuclear family, very deliberately.  First, by seeking a woman opposite their mother. Of course, if you ask the ILs, "nothing happened" growing up, as far as they are concerned - so, therein is the problem.  Some MILs have not one thing in common with their DIL, and the ILs take that as a personal affront - instead of organically including, making an effort and learning more about the DIL.  Bombarding the DIL with questions about : "what their family did" or whatever, obviously to gauge judgement, is not getting to know DIL.  For example: MIL inviting everyone (usually, not always, - sometimes they leave one person out - RUDE) on an annual get together, then refusing to engage or make an effort with the DIL or your son's children - doesn't count. We have very, very limited time off and I'll stay home, thanks. [/quote]

One more addition:  blatant favoritism of your daughter's kids do nothing to help your cause, MIL. DC are smart kids, they know exactly how you roll. [/quote]

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