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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is being partly motivated by the desire to help a child in need a bad thing? If my motives are misplaced, I don't want to adopt (I don't want my problem to become a problem for the child).  My motives right now are to have a bigger family, but also to be helpful to a child in need. [/quote]

16:52 adoptee here.  Firstly just want to thank posters. It's helpful to see all the stories and thoughts in such a constructive way.  OP, it's certainly not a bad thing to care about others.  It may be more a question of how you are evaluating your priorities versus just motivation.

FWIW, ironically my adoptive parents had the opposite motivations.  To help - not to adopt.  They were asked to take care of a week-old baby of another race [i]temporarily[/i] for a young birth mother who kept changing her mind about custody.  With 2 young bio kids and a bunch of baby stuff still at the house, my mom said "sure, I'll babysit".  Weeks became months of babysitting. My then 6yo brother bonded quickly with "his baby".  My then 4 yo sister apparently asked daily to send me back to the hospital (she still does sometimes :lol: ) Guess being a middle child does not seem to be easy in any combination.

Long story short, you never know what might happen.  Of course OP you know that already being a parent of two youngsters!

Sorry I don't have any definitive books to recommend as a pp requested.  Spending time with other adoptive families and support groups in person is a great starting point for weighing your priorities.

For transracial/international adoption perspectives, check out www.antiracistparent.com.  Not always easy reading, but does give some interesting opinons and really cute pictures of kids.

(01:39, my parents would totally agree with you. My mom sure ain't Mother Teresa :wink:!)

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