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Reply to "Any opinions about adoption with biological children?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - I really appreciate everyone's honest replies.  I really did want completely honest opinions.  In the spirit of further frankness...let me ask more on a touchy issue.  One poster said to adopt because you want more children, not for charity (or something like that).  While I understand the reason for that, I also know (I work in a social services field) that adoptive parents are "needed" (particularly for older kids).  I would think that to adopt a child because you think it is helpful, might be a valuable motivation, particulalry if and when things become difficult.  [/quote]

I was the poster that made that comment and your follow up comment makes me more concerned.  If you have the attitude of "I am helping this child, they needed me" that is going to come across to the child especially when things are difficult.  Older children who have been in care for a while are going to have some degree of attachment issues and they are NOT going to appreciate that you "helped" them or saved them or whatever. No child needs to be in a position of having to be grateful for being adopted or thankful that someone helped them.  I understand that as an adult they could reflect on the situation and come to that conclusion but as a child that is an immense burden to place on them. Since you are in the social services field, talk to several social workers how do homestudies about your motivations and see if they can provide feedback or resources.[/quote]

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