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Reply to "Any opinions about adoption with biological children?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I second the PP's comment that children in other countries also need families and that international adoption is a great way to form a family.

We adopted internationally (so far we have just one child) and everything that I've read suggests that you should not adopt out of birth order -- whether or not you have bio kids.  Transition issues can always be difficult and going out of birth order makes it that much more difficult.

The OP raised all sorts of good questions  -  and preparation is part of being a "good" adoptive parent.  You have to think much harder about things because adoption is an intentional act that requires you to engage in a lot of reflection.  I'd suggest getting on adoption listservs for the country/countries you might want to adopt from - there are unique issues to each country, both in terms of process and the types of children who get placed for adoption and that can help you in your decision-making.  There are also good books out there on adopting older kids.

As some other commenters have suggested, I think adopting solely for altruistic reasons (you want to "save" a child) is a bad reason for adopting.  You adopt because you want to be a parent, recognizing that you are enabling an individual child to have a family that s/he might not otherwise have.

One book I'd recommend for any adoptive parent/parent considering adoption is "Adoption Parenting:  Creating a Tool Box, Building Connections".

Good luck![/quote]

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