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[quote=Anonymous]Former middle school teacher here. There are plenty of nice kids at this age even as the ramping up of social competitiveness is very real. I subscribe to the hypothesis that most children are cruel because it elevates their own status. In communities where put-downs and other mean girl behavior are not rewarded or are rewarded less, it’s a little easier for the awkward kids. It takes a lot of social education to reach that point, though, where the children with social capital don’t directly or indirectly reinforce nastiness.

Unfortunately, the kids who pick on others do develop a sense of who is an easier target. It’s not fair, and it’s not the target’s fault. Do you get the sense that your child is being picked on because she is immature and has different interests, or do you get the sense that she has a social skills deficit? If it’s the latter, you may want to work with her on strategies for handling things well. Use a counselor as a resource if need be. Again, it’s not her fault. However, helping her build up positive strategies will aid her in weathering the social storm of middle school. Consider also self esteem building activities away from the mean girls. Are there interests she might pursue in a non-school setting that would help her to feel better about herself? It could be anything from Girls on the Run, to robotics, to arts classes, to coding, or scouting. [/quote]

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