Reply to I'm not sure where to post this, but how do I become a more empathetic mother?

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "I'm not sure where to post this, but how do I become a more empathetic mother?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom was a tyrant. It was her way or nothing. She yelled a lot. We weren't allowed to have our own opinions or dreams. I have tried to be different from her. The things I craved when I was younger that I never got are:

1. Having someone just listen to me. My mother was so judgmental about everything so at some point I stopped sharing things with her. If I had a problem, she always pointed out how it was my fault. Sometimes I just wanted to talk to someone and have someone hug me.
2. Allow me some space to develop my own personality and dreams. I was constantly being told my opinions were wrong, my taste in clothes was wrong, what I wanted to do when I grew up was wrong. I was a very shy, quiet kid who respected authority, so I never stood up for myself. Being treated like this had a serious negative impact on my self-esteem and my life.

My example may be a bit extreme, but I think this advice is sound - be a good listener and let your kids do things for themselves.

It can be hard to refrain from trying to steer kids a certain way. Some things you just have to let go. Your daughter wants to wear an outfit to school that doesn't match? Let it go. Other things that are more important, you can still be a good mom by mostly just being a good listener.  You can end up having some really great conversations with kids if you don't shut down the conversation with advice or judgement. It's not always easy to hold back. I have to remind myself sometimes, even with my childhood, that sometimes I just need to be quiet and listen.[/quote]

Oh my goodness pp! Are you my sister? This is exactly how my mother was and how I don't want to be with my kids. I know how horrible this felt but I still have this urge to over correct and  make things seem perfect and get upset at my kids when they act like kids. I hate myself for doing this.

I m trying to be different so thank you everyone for sharing  advice
 Believe I'm going to put it all to use.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics