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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well if she cares about what a known troublemaker says then you need to address ways to make her more resilient.

In the meantime, teach her to roll her eyes at him and say, “Yeah Yeah - whatever boosts your low self esteem.  We see right through your comments.” [/quote]

This is the definition of victim blaming.  You're an idiot.  [/quote]

no,this is not victim blaming.  As this kid goes through life lots of people will be "mean" to her.  She has to learn how to deal with them or she will be a basket case.  She needs to learn to remain neutral and either ignore or say a simple, cool, whatever, thanks for letting me know etc.  She needs to understand that miserable people like to make those around them feel miserable.  It takes time but it is an important skill to develop.[/quote]

This is not her first time having someone be "mean" to her. Kids experience that all the time. (OP Here).

This kid had been friendly with her until last year when he did something inappropriate. She let him have it (and appropriately so). We had planned to address it further but she asked us not to. He also started hanging around another kid who is major discipline issues. Fast forward to now. We are on the bus. There is nowhere to go. The comments have been seemingly unprovoked. The kid sits by the patrols so they are hearing him. It's not the back of the bus.

So, yes, I am aware of her need to understand how to deal with miserable people. But, she is having a hard time blowing this off. It's hurtful. [/quote]

OP, I'm so sorry this is happening. My dd (7th) is dealing w/ something similar. A boy keeps telling her she's stupid (things like "404 -- brain not found"). He is rude to other kids too but seems moreso to dd. When I contacted the teacher, she put the responsibility on dd to ignore him and said the boy was losing participation points. He doesn't care. When I contacted the counselor and teacher, they made it seem like a 2way problem because dd is now tuned in to this boys insults and distracted by him. She does not provoke this kid. Counselor wanted to take it to "conflict resolution," but no way does dd want this kid to know she complained because she was afraid it would just get worse. So, disappointed w/ school response, it is all back on dd. I've advised her to firstly try to avoid him as much as humanly possible (I know this is not necessarily possible on a bus) and for her to let him know that his comments are hurtful and rude (he thinks he's being witty). Not sure if a direct response would help in your situation. I do know if this happened on my dd's previous bus, I would have been able to talk to the driver, & she would have kept an eye out for it and taken that kid out when she saw it. But, she was a really special caring person who was more like an aunt to the kids. It would really help if someone else spoke out against the behavior the next time it happens. Would your bus driver do that? Could dd ask the patrols privately to say something? Or talk to some friends?  My older dd had a bullying issue, & it stopped when dd's friend stood up for her and then the bully's friend contradicted bully. If dd can get someone in her corner,  I think that would help.

Good luck[/quote]

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