Reply to Artificial insemination and very insensitive wife (and MIL)....

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Did you have to do the mandatory counseling session as a couple before using donor materials? My spouse and I did when we lived in MD, it is helpful for this kind of situation.[/quote]

No.

Question: how did you deal with the fact that one of you guys were not the bio-parent because that eliminates that whole ("he/she looks like you") and the whole "our baby" stuff where you have a shared aspiration/anticipation. I think there can still be a shared aspiration but it has to be about raising the kid together not focused on the physical traits. Did you actively think about/consider that or were you just naturally sensitive to it?[/quote]

NP.  We are going through donor egg for IVF.  Our conversations relate to this still being our baby and something we share.  My husband has said he is sad that he won't see any of my features in a future child and he would have liked to have seen what our child looked like.  He has never mentioned what physical traits would come from the donor.  I'm thinking he is naturally sensitive to it.

I can't believe what your wife has said.  How hurtful.  Have you sat down and explained your feelings to her?[/quote]

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